What's In A Name Part II

I needed to save this for myself, so I can always remember why I decided to come back..

"What's in a name?
That which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet.
"William Shakespeare
What's in a name?
It's just a name.
It's just a title.
It's just a status.
It's just...a name.
So why let a name alter your perceptions?
So why let a name guide your thoughts?
So why let a name stop you from doing what you deem necessary?
I've decided it's time to live my life - live it in the way that I feel is right for me. Do the things that I want to do, and doing so, without the opinions and thoughts and words of others hindering the path that I so choose.So I'm doing this for me. While others may think I'm doing this for them, ultimately, I'm doing this for me.I'm doing this for my heart.And I'm not letting a name stop me.I'll make my own name - and I'll make it big.♥

I wrote that over a year ago, with every intention of leaving Reno and going back home. At the time, I didn't think I could handle living on my own. No really, I was pretty much on my own. I turned 18, graduated from high school, and left home for college. I packed up an entire room's worth of stuff (half of which ended up being discarded once I got to school because dorm rooms were WAY smaller then I had imagined) and took that drive up to Reno. No parents, no sisters, the good friends I had in high school opted to stay back... (and sometimes I wonder if they would've been my good friends now, regardless of whether or not I left. It's amazing the things you learn about the people you thought you knew in high school, once you leave it...)

I really was alone.

And I'm glad I stuck it out and stayed the whole year. I learned more about myself in that year then I ever could've imagined. I can be independent and I can take care of myself, and I don't need to depend on anybody else to do it. That is one of the greatest feelings in the world, and I wouldn't have learned I could do that had I not left home.This year, however, is an entirely different story. I am getting a lot of flack for leaving and getting asked often why I have decided to leave and why I can't just stay here. There's so many reasons why I CAN'T stay here, and yet, I think even more reasons why I just simply don't WANT to stay here anymore. Most of which involve financial issues, but who doesn't have those these days right? It's unfortunate, but in the end, I have to do what's best for me in the long run.

For some people, Reno is for them. Being out of Vegas is for them. Sticking out through a freezing, snowing, raining, windy winter in Reno is for them. The lights and sounds and hustle and bustle of Vegas isn't for everybody. I can't do it anymore though, and I can't keep pretending that I like to do it either. Like I said, I stuck it out last year and was extremely proud of myself for doing so, but I just can't stick it out anymore. Plain and simple, Reno just isn't for me anymore. Vegas is my home and I really do miss it there. Sure, the school sucks, we all know this. But like I said...it's just a name. I'll make my own name and i'll make it a big one, no matter where I go. Besides, this is Nevada. Any school you go to here just plain sucks, let's be real guys.

Let's think of it this way. Atleast I save money on air fare, since I go home atleast once a month :P What can I say? I really do love it there, no matter how much I truly hate admitting it.

I don't regret coming to Reno and I don't regret any experiences that I've had. Everything happens for a reason, and I think the reason I had to come here was because I had to grow up, and I had to learn to be independent and live on my own. I've met some amazing people that I hope will still remain my friend once I head to the traitors down South. :) I came up here for good reasons. However, as the most amazing person I know said... I'm now leaving for even better ones.

But like I said, a year & a half in this place is about enough for me. So I'm going home.

Oh, but p.s. - when the rebels and the wolf pack play for that cannon, I will be representing the pack, that's just about all there is to it.


I feel the need to add on to this. I took this from my facebook notes because I wanted to delete it on there, but I always wanted to keep this. I want to remember the real reasons why I decided to come back.
Financial reasons really do have a lot to do with it, but I'd be lying to myself if I said that was the only reason.
My best friend said she was leaving Cali and coming back to Vegas. That made my decision a lot easier. Honestly, it sucked going to school without her. It's almost like I need her to have fun sometimes. She gets me, and I needed her.
And then when my Eric decided 'hey, let's move in together', I couldn't say no. I trust him, I have fun with him, and he's my best friend. The proposition was just too good to turn down. With my best friends at my side, I couldn't say no to coming back.
I was miserable there, I was doing stupid stuff there, and I wasn't focused on what I should've been focused on.
I'm hoping here, I will be.
I just need to keep telling myself that I'm doing it for the right reasons...

and try not to focus on that stupid face in the back of my mind that also made it a little easier to move back...