i am so tired...

of always coming in second best.
of standing in the shadow of every girl I know.
I was never the prettiest, & I like to pretend I'm okay with it, but it hurts more & more everyday.
I'm tired of hearing 'well yeah you're cute, but your friend is so hot.'
growing up being the guys' girl was fun, but now, why can't I just be one guy's girl?
I don't wanna be the girl guys talk to just to get to my friends.
that's all I've ever been.
& I know why. I hate it but I know why.
its not like I haven't tried to change it. its just so hard. & I've been hurting all this time...i had to find comfort in something.
I can't even trust the people I've been close to for so long because of my own insecurities.
I just want to be somebody that somebody wants.
doesn't everybody?